Mama Mia!

Dear Astrid,
    I have been with the love of my life for four years.  We are very happy together, and I think that he has thought about proposing to me a few times lately. 
    The only problem is that I don't think he wants to have kids.  We discussed it back when we first met and were in our early twenties.  He said he didn't think he'd ever want kids.  I didn't mind at the time because we had only just started dating.  But now, it seems like more of an issue.  I definitely want to have kids, but I want to be with him too.
    What should I do?

-Wanna Be A Mama

Dear Mama,

I think there is pretty much one clear solution to this situation: get pregnant on "Accident."  That way you get the best of both worlds: your man and your baby.

Ok, I am totally kidding there.  I absolutely do not recommend betraying your boyfriend like that in anyway.  It will come back to bite you in the ass and potentially destroy your relationship with him, and maybe even your relationship with your spawn.

Here is my real advice:
   
First get an update from your boyfriend.  (Have you really not talked about it at all over the past four years?)  If he was simply unsure to begin with, he may have changed his mind over the past few years as your relationship grew.

If he answers yes, he does want to have children, then great.  Problem solved.

If he says maybe, I recommend probing further and finding out what conditions his "maybe" lies, and discuss and ponder from there.

If he says no, he definitely does not want kids, then you are in a bit more of a pickle.  I still recommend asking him why, and discussing the matter.  From there, I can only suggest that you look into your heart to make your decision on how to proceed.  Break up?  Stay together?  Decide not to have children?  What will you do if you really do accidentally get pregnant?  Weigh your desire for children against your desire for this relationship.  The choice is a heavy one, and yours alone. 

If you think that your boyfriend may be proposing soon, then you need to have the conversation sooner rather than later.  I recommend that you resolve the situation before you accept or reject his proposal.

I hope you get all your hearts desires.

Love,
Astrid