Netflix Suggestion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To all you netflix subscribers (and faithful brick and mortar renters) out there looking for a fun and fifferent movie to enjoy this weekend:

Check out Blue State!

I watched it last night and it was quite good.  Different than any other movie I've seen lately, which was a nice treat.

Late night coffee

I just got coffee about an hour ago, and I am pretty sure that my latte was not made decaf, like I requested.  Advice: If you order a decaf coffee from a coffee shop in the evening because you don’t want to be up all night, make sure that the Barista actually uses decaf espresso.  (But don’t be all rude about it either).  I didn’t, and now I’ll probably be up until 2 AM. : (  Sent From IPhone

Save A Little on Coffee

As an self proclaimed "professional advice giver" I should probably tell you not to make going to Starbucks, or any  other coffee place a daily activity because it is so much cheaper to make your own coffee at home.

But I am not going to hand out that advice.  While it is true, i would feel a bit hypocritical suggesting it.

However, I am going to suggest that you organize your coffee intake around a new deal that Starbucks is offering (if you get your coffee at Starbucks).

It will save you a little money without making you break your habit.

Teen Worries About Wedding

Dear Astrid,

I know this question might sound a little odd, but lately I've been worrying over it. What if I never get married? I mean, I feel like there is so much pressure on women to find a guy, but what if I never do? My family say of course Ill meet somebody, and then they point out my good qualitites, but I'm not so sure its that easy. My family might notice my good qualities, but will a guy? I have a while before I should even be thinking of marriage, but this thought has been nagging at me in the back of my brain.

Thank you,

-WorryingTeen

Dear Worrying Teen,

Hi Worrying Teen.  I am going to start off by telling you something that may sound like very bad news to you.  Promise me you'll hear me out, and stay with me until the end of the letter.  It gets better, I promise.

You may not get married one day.

Or you may get married, then divorced, then married again, and so on.  Or perhaps you will marry, but your husband will die young.  Or maybe you will marry the wrong person, but never divorce him and live miserably for the  rest of your life. 

Never marrying doesn't sound too bad next to those options, does it?

I don't want you to think I am discouraging your from getting married someday, though.  You seem to have decided that a marriage is something you want in your life, and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't get everything you want in life.

However, to get what you truly want out of life, I suggest you change the way you are thinking about two things: yourself and guys.

1. Yourself.  Believe your family when they tell you about all your great attributes.  Think of other great attributes you have on your own.  Learn to feel so great in your own skin that there should be no doubt in your mind that others will see your shining personalty just as well as you and your family can.

2.  Guys.  I encourage you to stop thinking of boyfriends and husbands as people who will use separate criteria to evaluate you than your friends or family would.  The guy you want to be with will see you exactly as your family and friends (except with a bit more of a sexual eye).

Also, keep in mind that it is a bit early for you (as a teen) to worry about whether or not you will get married.  I encourage you to focus your energy on the above two bulleted items, and other interests you have, rather than marriage.

Remember, there is no reason why you shouldn't get everything you want out of life.

Hope that helps,

Love, Astrid.

photo credit: www.arbutusphotography.com

Where is he?Looking for "The One"

Dear Astrid,

I’d like to meet a nice guy.  I'm looking for a real, serious relationship.  Maybe even "the one." But I don’t know where all the cool, good guys are hiding.  Where do I go to find them?

-Looking in the wrong places

Dear Looking in the Wrong Places,

Your letter totally reminded me of Ted on my favorite tv show, How I Met Your Mother.  Have you seen it?  He's looking for "the one" too.

Anyway, down to business.

Strategies for finding a good guy vary, depending on whether you live in the city, a town, a suburb, the country, etc.  Since I don’t know where you live, I’ll give you some advice and strategies that you (and other readers) can apply to your specific situation(s)

Where to Go

First, you need to decide what you are looking for in a guy; once you know who you are looking for, you will have a better idea of where to look.  Example: if you’re looking for a well educated, professional guy, who has the soft demeanor of Jane Austen’s Edward Ferrars, but the kissing skills of Danny Zooko, you probably aren’t going to find him doing keg stands at your local dive.  He’s probably having a low-key beer with his buddies somewhere, or checking out a new band, or reading a book at home, or watching a movie, or out looking for a gal like yourself, or playing video games with the guys… there are a number of things he could be doing.  But he’s not at the dive, I’ll tell ya that.

That being said, don’t go looking for guys in places that you would rather not visit.  While there is something to be said for trying a new restaurant, bar, concert, bookstore, etc. that you think seems cool, don’t visit a place you don’t want to go to just to find a guy.  Example: If you hate playing pool, don’t go to a pool hall just because there are lots of guys there.  You probably won’t find a guy you’d like anyway (unless he was dragged there by friends, and then he’ll be so busy sulking in the corner that you won’t even notice him).

Think about the guy to gal ratio in the place you have chosen to go to.  Example: you probably won’t find a straight male that is over the age of fifteen and worth dating at your local suburban mall. 

Another tip...

Ask your friends if they no anyone you think might be a good fit for you.  Don’t harp on your friends to collect dates for you, but asking around your close group of friends to see if they know any cool single guys is a good idea.

And as for personal experience…
I actually met my current sweetie at a party.  Not a crazy party full of drunk strangers who wanted to hook up with someone for the night, but a little get together a friend of mine was throwing.  He was a friend of a friend, we started chatting, and that was that.

Hope that helps!
Astrid

 

The age old question that makes me immediately think of...

... When Harry Met Sally.

Can men and women "be friends" after they have dated?



I think it is possible, but not probable with most relationships.

Let me be more specific.

You can probably be friends if...

• You only went on one or two dates with that person.

• Intimate contact was very minimal (ex. A hug, or a quick peck)

• You both fell for other people.

• You have a common interest that few of your other friends share (ex. You both love going to pinot noir tasting festivals, comic book conventions, etc.).

• You enjoy each others company, but are not attracted to each other in the least.

• You both want to be friends.

• Neither person is harboring secret feelings for the other person.

You probably won't be friends if...

• You dated for an extended period of time.

• You were in love.

• Your relationship was very intense.

• Your relationship ended with one (or more) of the following: cheating, drinking, hitting, shouting, throwing things,

Of course, that's not to say that you absolutely must sever all contact with that person if you fit into the "won't be friends" category.  If your split is mutually agreed upon, clean, and without much drama, then you may be able to share the occasional email (or such).  

If you do decide to keep in contact with an old flame, I suggest that you come up with "a plan."  Decide...
 

• How long you will wait after your break-up before commencing communication, decide how often you will communicate (every six months, when something big happens in your life...)

• When you might communicate (pick a date? Time of day?)

• How you will communicate (email, phone, coffee chat, etc.)

• And perhaps most importantly, decide what you will talk about.  Are you going to stick to platonic subjects like work, family, and friends?  Will you mention casual dates?  When will you mention new relationships?  How detailed will those conversations get.

But Why?
Before you consider talking to an old flame about "being friends" I think it is very important to ask yourself this: "Why do I want to be friends with this person?"  Are you trying to hold on to the relationship, or do you genuinely want a friendship with this person?  Only you answer that question, and it may even take you awhile to come up with a true answer.