Ask Astrid

Five Quick Ways to Cut Holiday Spending

Ask astrid — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:12:21 GMT

1.    Wrapping- Use all the wrapping paper, bows, and bags you already have in your house. I bet 9/10 of you will be bale to wrap all of your presents without having to buy a single thing. (Except perhaps tape. There never seems to be enough tape!)
2.    E-Cards- Send E-Cards to your computer savy-ish friends and family. Save the paper ones for those who truly treasure them (in my case, my aunt and grandma). I noticed that PNN offers free ecards.
3.    Decorate With Paper Snow Flakes- They are easy, cheap, fun, and bring a lovely old fashioned feel to your decorations.
4.    Swap With Your Friends- Simplify your gift giving with your friends. Host a party, and have everyone bring a few items (clothes, books, whatever) that they are done with and think someone else will enjoy. Toss them all in a specific area, and let everyone shop for themselves! At the end of the party, have everyone hold up the item(s) that he/she chose. You get some gifts and a party in this one- all for free!
5.    Do Something- Use your talents and do something that only you can do for your loved ones. Good with computers? Fix your aunt’s. Handy with string? Teach your friend how to knit? Have healthy joints? Help your grandma clean out the garage. Choose a project that the two of you can do together (while you do most of the work, of course). Spending time together is the real gift in this kind of situation.

Top Tips For Surviving Black Friday

Ask astrid — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:05:13 GMT

•   Check Out Your Coffee Scene. If your first stop is in the mall, and your mall has a coffee place, you’re set. Most malls require all stores to open at the same time, so if Macy’s is open at 4AM, Starbucks will be too. However, if you are going to a mini mall or big box area, the surrounding coffee sources may not be open. Bring a thermos of mug with you, just in case. You can always enjoy a peppermint mochas after your shopping is over and coffee places are open.
•   Research and Prioritize. This may seems like a no-brainer, but do your research ahead of time. Clip all necessary coupons, and develop a plan of attack. Decide which stores and gifts you will focus on first, then go from there.
•   Check Your Receipt. There’s no point in lining up all night if you don’t even end up getting the deal you wanted. Watch the clerk ring you up, and check your receipt before you relieve the store.
•   Play Nice. I don’t care how little sleep you got, or how much you really need that ( fill in the blank) for your dear (insert relative’s name here).   Being rude to fellow shoppers, store clerks, and anyone else you dragged along with you on your early morning shopping expedition simply isn’t in the spirit of the holidays. Don’t do it.

Smart Money also offers some awesome advice that is worth checking out.

Top 5 Tips For Surviving Turkey Day

Ask astrid — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:16:56 GMT

•   Sort Your Alcohol Plans Before You Go. Need a little alcohol to keep yourself calm when surrounded by masses of relatives that probe you with inappropriate questions about your love life? I say go for it. However, I also say “designate a driver.” Get someone else to drive you to and fro the festivities, and for heaven’s sake, BYO Merlot if you’re going to be boozing up. Also keep in mind that while a drink or two can help relax your nerves, six or seven will make you say something offensive to your seven-year-old niece and throw up your turkey dinner. Keep it in control.
•   Take your Emotional Vitamins Before You Go, and Bring an Emotional First Aid Kit. Recognize that certain people you will be spending Thanksgiving with may do annoying things or push your buttons. Come up with a plan that will keep bad feelings at bay and allow you to enjoy the holiday. Bring something (an ipod, a book, a yoga mat, whatever) to help distract/calm you if you do let something get to you.
•   Portions, People! Thanksgiving is certainly not the day to be hardcore about any diet you may be using. Thanksgiving only comes once a year, so enjoy your favorite pumpkin, turkey, and stuffing goodies. Just don’t eat so much that you feel sick or plunge into a guilt fest the next day.
•   Help! Someone’s running preparing a massive meal in the kitchen. While offering to peal the potatoes is a good way to help, think outside the traditional help box too. Offer to mix another cocktail, occupy the kids in the other room, or even just keep your hostess company with some conversation.
•   Be Thankful. Focus on the things you are thankful for, not the aspects of your life that you want to disappear. Instead of focusing on how much you don’t seem to live up to your family’s expectations, think about how glad you are that you made three new friends this year.

I have never hosted a Thanksgiving before, so I don’t have any novel advice to offer hosts. Anyone else want to chime in?

Helping A Friend Through the Holidays

Ask astrid — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 23:36:47 GMT

Dear Astrid,

OK, kind of a downer, but have a friend who suffered a great loss in the last month, who's struggling with it...thanksgiving will be very tough for her (and then her birthday follows quickly after)....how can i as a friend be effectively supportive (she's thousands of miles away, also)? It's obviously not "going to be all right" for her for some time......thanks.

-Chitowngirl

Dear Chitowngirl,

That's a tough situation, especially considering you are so far away from her.

I think that the primary thing that you can do for your friend right now is to let her know that she is important to you and that you are thinking about her. Depending on what type of loss she has experienced she could be feeling very alone in the world. Do everything you can (short of getting out pompoms and a cheer leading uniform) to let her know that isn't true.

Call her. Send her a birthday present.

It sounds like this is a close friend of yours, so you will know whether or not she wants to talk about her loss, whether or not she needs to talk about it, and whether you will have to ask her about it or whether she will bring it up on her own. Rely on your own intuition and experience within your friendship there. I suggest that when you talk to her, try to find a nice middle ground tone. Don't be over concerned and say "So, how are you today?" with the expectation that her day was "Put Stones In My Pockets And Jump In The River Miserable," and don't be a cheerleader that just knows that "Everything Is Like, Super Great!" (Remember, no pompoms!) Find a way to address her emotional state, feelings, thoughts, and concerns, but talk about other things too. She'll probably benefit from a distraction.

Hope that helps. Any other readers have some advice that they would like to chime in?

-Astrid

Dealing with the Holidays: A Weekly Column

Ask astrid — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:44:31 GMT

Ladies and gents, I hate to break it to you, but Thanksgiving is next week. And we all know that Thanksgiving officially sets off the madness that we call The Holiday Season.

There are tons of great things about the holidays, don’t get me wrong. Hunting for a Christmas tree, drinking peppermint mochas from Starbucks, getting sloshed at Christmas parties… shoot, I even get a kick out of it when Santa waves at me in the mall!

But there are drawbacks too. Colds. Stress. Peak travel prices. Money that you don’t have but “need” to spend. And, the worst one of all… distant relative who ask probing questions about your love life.

I feel it is my duty as your advice columnist to do what I can to help you emotionally prepare yourself for this holiday season. Therefore, I am writing a weekly column series full of advice to get you through the holidays. Starting now, through the end of December, you’ll get a dosage of Holiday Ask Astrid advice every Tuesday.

Enjoy! And if you have a specific topic you want me to address, shoot me an email at astrid.advice@gmail.com

Happy Holidays!

Astrid

How To: Survive Long Lines at your Polling Place

Ask astrid — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:17:46 GMT

My news sources tell me that the waiting lines for early voting have been astronomically long over the past few days. Please don't let the lines deter you from casting your votes! If you are worried about the long lines, consider following my "Survive the Super Long Line To Vote" guide.

1. Wear shoes that you can stand in for an extended period of time.

2. Check the weather before you go. Bring an umbrella/sunscreen/snow boots, or any other items that will help protect you from expected weather elements.

3. Bring your ipod. Load political podcasts (or funny "Get Out There And Vote" ads) on it to get you in the mood

4. Bring a friend to chat with.

5. Bring a cup of coffee to keep yourself perky. (I bring one pretty much anywhere I go)

6. Bring a "cheat sheet." Write down your decisions ahead of time so you can spend less time in the voting booth, and more time watching the results at home with your friends and family.

7. Bring your camera. Document the waiting and voting experience.

8. Bring your ID. Nothing like getting to the head of the line only to have to go home, get your ID, then get in the back of the line again.

9. Bring your (older) kid. Toddlers will probably get bored and fussy pretty quickly, but older kids can learn about voting and American politics first hand while they wait with you. What a great way to grow little voters!

Does anyone else have any tips to add?

Building a Wardrobe With Tim Gunn (And Astrid)

Ask astrid — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:42:21 GMT

Confession: I love watching reality TV shows. I am fussy about which reality shows I watch though. I have no interest in watching people run around an obstacle course, but I love watching people get make-overs (for their wardrobe, home, and beyond!). I think of these as "advice centric" reality shows.

The other day I came across a new-ish reality show that has been dubbed my current "favorite." It's called Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. Essentially, he gives his guests (women so far) a wardrobe makeover, following "The List."

I followed Tim's advice and built a "List Centric," imaginary wardrobe using polyvore. Here is what I chose, and what Tim has to say about each item on his list:

1. The Little Black Dress- "Wear it during the day with a jewel-toned cardigan and flats and accessorize it at night with a statement necklace and strappy heels."

2. Trench Coat- "The right trench can be worn with anything. Pull it over your little black dress for a night out or layer it over your T-shirt and jeans on the weekend."

3. Dress Pants- "Whether in black, navy, charcoal or chocolate, a wool or silk pant that falls straight from the widest part of your hip is a wardrobe must. It can be worn with a chic blouse or a cashmere sweater, and by adding a blazer you can wear this look anywhere."

4. Versatile Skit- "This is a skirt that you can dress up with a blazer or dress down with a denim jacket. The hem should be no longer than the bottom of your kneecap and no shorter than just above the knee."

5. Fitted Blazer- "No single item of apparel dresses up a look better than a blazer. You're doing Saturday catch-up at the office in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, when your boss calls to thank you with an invitation to lunch. Can you think of a better save?"

6. Classic White Shirt- "Whether paired with dress pants, a skirt, or jeans, this item is always polished and sophisticated. Just be mindful of the proper clothing maintenance!"

7. Day Dress- "Pair it with a statement necklace and basic pumps. Go for color with your shoes if the dress is a solid color, but stick with brown or black if the dress is printed."

8. Cashmere Sweater- "This is the only clothing item to which I attribute a "luxury" textile, because cashmere has become very affordable and can last years in one's wardrobe if properly maintained. It can be a cardigan, v-neck, or turtleneck, but please be mindful of crews—very unflattering on many."

9. The Perfect Jean- "Why is it so difficult to find the right fit in denim? I find that the most universally forgiving style is a dark wash (this offers more versatility, such as going out at night) with a lower rise (fit your hips, not your waist), and that falls straight from the widest part of the hip. But in any case, TRY IT ON!"

10. Sweatsuit Alternative- "This isn't gym-wear; it's a walking the dog outfit that's easy, feels comfortable, and looks great. It can be jeans and a crisp white tee and a cashmere cardigan or a cotton jersey day dress. It's whatever suits your lifestyle and says 'casual' with sophistication. Never wear a tracksuit or velour sweat suit (not even on the plane or at the gym). If you need a comfortable outfit try leggings with a detailed t-shirt, interesting hoodie and casual flats."

11. Trendy Item- ""Indulge occasionally in a $20 something or other. Don't go overboard with trendy items. Pick one to spice up a classic outfit."

I was pleasently suprised by how well all the items I chose fit together. I can see how almost everything can be paired together for maximum wardrobe diversity.

Do you like my choices? What would you choose?

Age Appropriate Halloween Costumes

Ask astrid — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:31:52 GMT

Dear Astrid,

My 10 year old daughter and I are having a hard time agreeing on her Halloween costume this year. I work 50 hours a week, so I don’t have time to make anything very complicated for her, but the costumes available at stores and online are way too sexual for someone her age! We can spend about two hours putting a costume together for her. What do you suggest?

- Busy Mom

Dear Busy Mom,

I did a quick search on teen/tween Halloween costumes just now, and man. You are so right; they are too sexual for someone her age.

The good news is that there are still a lot of ways for you and your daughter to put together a great Halloween costume for her in two hours or less.

Option 1: Closets. Sift through your daughter’s closet, your closet, and any other closet you have in your home. I am sure that (with a little digging and imagination) you will be able to throw together at least three Halloween costumes that you didn’t even know you had. An old sheet, some metallic sandals and glitter make-up make for a great Greek Goddess costume. A flowy skirt, scarves, and costume jewelry make a gypsy costume. Ever been to Disneyland? I bet you bought some sort of Disney-themed ears or hat, wore them around the park, took them home, then stashed them in a closet somewhere. Find them, then build your Mickey, Minnie, or Goofy get-up with appropriately colored pants, skirts, and shirts from your closet.

Option 2: Thrift Store. I have gotten some of my favorite costumes from thrift stores. Go to the biggest thrift store in your area with a character in mind; that way you will have oodles of options to choose from, but won’t feel as overwhelmed as you would if you didn’t know what you were looking for. But keep in mind that you might not be able to find exactly what you are looking for. Be flexible, and work creatively with the options you see for the best results and least stressful experience.

Option 3: Re-Vamp. Buy one of those sexualized costumes from the store with the understanding that you and your daughter are going to alter it together. Take the photo above as example, and pretend that this is the costume your daughter wanted.
Ask her what aspect she likes best about it. If you preserve her favorite aspect of it, she’ll probably be more willing to let you make changes you want to make.
Maybe she likes the wings (and I don’t blame her, the wings are quite cool). Keep the wings, and keep the top of the costume the way it is to show them off. Loose the gloves, and add layers to the skirt (either with fabric or other skirts you have at home) to make it longer.
If she says that she likes the colors of the costume, your job is even easier. Add a black shrug or cape, or put a light, long sleeve t-shirt on underneath. Make the skirt longer again. Try age appropriate ballet flats instead of heels.

Hope that helps!
Astrid

Post No Bills

Ask astrid — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:05:01 GMT

Dear Astrid,

Do I have to take my poster of Sarah Palin off the living room wall? My wife says it's stupid, but I like her. I'm not in love with her, I mean, she'd never run away with me or anything, but I think I should be able to put it up, I mean it's my house to.

-Random Shotz

Dear Random Shotz,

Do you have to take this poster off of the living room wall? Yes, most definitely. Can you still hang it somewhere else in the house? Possibly.

I don't blame your wife for not wanting it hanging in the living room. The living room is the common area of a house. It should be warm, inviting, and a place that everyone who lives in and visits the house should feel comfortable. Frankly, the image of this poster hanging in a living room makes me think of a freshman, all guy dorm, rather than a pleasant, tasteful home.

The house is just as much yours as it is your wife's, you are right there. But that doesn't mean that your taste gets to over rule hers anymore than hers should over rule yours. That is why I suggest that you and your wife discuss an alternative room to hang this poster in.

Hope that helps!

Astrid

My Vice: Advice

Ask astrid — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:57:25 GMT

Sometimes, I can't help but want to offer my advice on someone's current predicament, no matter how uninvited the advice may be. I always try to be very understanding and tactful in the way I deliver it, but my advice still isn't always recieved with open arms.

What can I say? Giving advice is my vice. And my profession. : )

In fact, one of the reasons I have this column is because I was essentially pissing off a bunch of my friends and family, and even strangers, by offering them all kinds of unsolicited advice. When I found myself trying to tell the person in front of me in line at Starbucks "you should try an iced chai instead of a chai creme frappucino because they not only taste better but had zillions fewer calories," I knew I had a problem.

Fortunately, I don't only like to give others advice; I give my self advice too. And I listen to myself. So after the woman at Starbucks stomped off (and rightfully so) to her car with her chai creme frappucino, I plunked myself down on one of he wobbly, iron tables outside with m iced chai, and had a good think. Two chais and a very full bladder later, I had my answer: a specified outlet where advice is aways expected, even if not welcome.

Thus, askastrid.pnn.com was born.

So tell me, dear readers. What is your vice? And what have you done to curb its disturbance in your world?

"Advice Queue"

Ask astrid — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:52:31 GMT

(Will I really like Brothers and sisters?)

My netflix queue currently has 149 DVDs listd on it. About an hour ago, it had 262. Needless to say, I just completed a major purge. Most of the movies I deleted were ones that Netflix reccomended, either based on other movies I indicated I liked, or added to my queue. I originally added them because they looked mildly interesting and I knew I would forget all about them if I didn't add them right then and there. (I think the fact that I knew I would forget all about them should have been my clue to not even bother adding them in the first place).

The fact that I deleted so many movies that netflix reccomended to me makes me doubt their reccomendation system. I am thinking that they are not giving me very good advice about what movies I should watch.

And, as a "professional advice giver," I just can't handle that.

I guess when it comes down to it, I still prefer word of mouth reccomendations over Netflix reccomendations. They seem to just work out better. So, in the spirit of that statement, I am going to suggest we all give each other a little Netflix "advice" right here on askastrid. An AskAstrid Netflix queue, if you will. List a movie that you got from netflix (and enjoyed) whenever you feel the urge, and I'll do the same. Maybe it will make our movie watching experiences a little bit better. : )

How To: Safely Run Away From Petitioners

Ask astrid — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:12:55 GMT

If you find those petitioners that haunt the front of our favorite grocery store just as pushy and intrusive as I do, here's a tip in how to avoid them. When you see them stationed outside with their clipboards, grab your cell phone, and start talking. It doesn't matter if there is actually anyone on the other end of the line, just gab away. Say "uh-huh" a lot if you can't think of anything to say. Or tell your imaginary friend you are at the grocery store, an ask if they need anything. And slip quickly through the doors! Most petitioners won't bug you if you follow these steps.

Going Solo

Ask astrid — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:55:12 GMT

(Going Solo Worked Out Well For Diane Lane in Under the Tuscan Sun!)
I know so many people who refuse to go places by themselves, and it utterly astounds me. Eating in a restraunt alone? No way. Driving into yor favorite city and wandering around alone? That's just silly. Travel to another state or country on your own? Now that's just crazy talk!

The reasons people I know refuse to "do things by themselves," (and they are mstly women, by the way) falls into two categories: I'm Scared to be Alone, and I'm Scared that I'll be Putting Myself in Danger. Let's address each of these concerns one at a time.

I'm Scared that I Will Be Putting Myself in Danger.
This is a genuine concern for many women. Though it is not an unfounded claim to say that it is more dangerous for women to venture off into the world on solo adventures than it is for men, I think that the danger of these situations is over-amplified. By whom? I'm not sure. Nervous mothers everywhere, maybe?

In my opinion women can go anywhere alone that they want, but since women are targets for attack, there are certain precautions that you should take.
1. Act like you know what you are doing and walk around like you own the joint. If you are lost, don't let others know. Always act like you know what you are doing, and you won't look like easy prey. If you are looking over your shoulder like a scared rabbitt every ten seconds, you are going to be a prime target.
2. Don't be an idiot. Don't walk across a pitch black city park at night, and don't wander around notoriously "bad areas" of town for no reason. Use common sense, and think of your safety before you embark on a solo journey.

I'm Scared to be Alone.
What exactly are you afraid is going to happen, my dear? I hate to break it to you, but the worst thing that can happen if you are eating solo in a restraunt or sipping a coffee solo is that you might get a little bored. Or maybe some annoying guy will try to talk to you. But there are plenty of ways to get rid of an annoying pest, and you can bring a book, mini gaming device, or iphone/balckberry if you think you are going to get bored. Or, using devices that allow you to communicate with your friends kind oof defeats the purpose of being alone, try people watching. Make up stories about the people around you. I find it to be quite an amusing pasttime.

In other words gals, get over yourselves and your fears of being alone, whatever the may be. There's a whole wide world to explore out there, and you don't have to bring a friend in order to be allowed to explore it.

Some "Duh" Advice

Ask astrid — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 12:32:59 GMT

If they hurt whe you try them on in the store, they will hurt when you wear them out at night. It doesn't matter how pretty they are: it's not worth it!

Teen Worries About Wedding

Ask astrid — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:07:56 GMT

Dear Astrid,

I know this question might sound a little odd, but lately I've been worrying over it. What if I never get married? I mean, I feel like there is so much pressure on women to find a guy, but what if I never do? My family say of course Ill meet somebody, and then they point out my good qualitites, but I'm not so sure its that easy. My family might notice my good qualities, but will a guy? I have a while before I should even be thinking of marriage, but this thought has been nagging at me in the back of my brain.

Thank you,

-WorryingTeen

Dear Worrying Teen,

Hi Worrying Teen. I am going to start off by telling you something that may sound like very bad news to you. Promise me you'll hear me out, and stay with me until the end of the letter. It gets better, I promise.

You may not get married one day.

Or you may get married, then divorced, then married again, and so on. Or perhaps you will marry, but your husband will die young. Or maybe you will marry the wrong person, but never divorce him and live miserably for the rest of your life.

Never marrying doesn't sound too bad next to those options, does it?

I don't want you to think I am discouraging your from getting married someday, though. You seem to have decided that a marriage is something you want in your life, and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't get everything you want in life.

However, to get what you truly want out of life, I suggest you change the way you are thinking about two things: yourself and guys.

1. Yourself. Believe your family when they tell you about all your great attributes. Think of other great attributes you have on your own. Learn to feel so great in your own skin that there should be no doubt in your mind that others will see your shining personalty just as well as you and your family can.

2. Guys. I encourage you to stop thinking of boyfriends and husbands as people who will use separate criteria to evaluate you than your friends or family would. The guy you want to be with will see you exactly as your family and friends (except with a bit more of a sexual eye).

Also, keep in mind that it is a bit early for you (as a teen) to worry about whether or not you will get married. I encourage you to focus your energy on the above two bulleted items, and other interests you have, rather than marriage.

Remember, there is no reason why you shouldn't get everything you want out of life.

Hope that helps,

Love, Astrid.

photo credit: www.arbutusphotography.com